One Month New
The final month of pregnancy lasted an eternity, but my first month with Harrison went by in hyper speed. Our first month has been an adventure- an amazing, challenging, incredible adventure.
The first two weeks were the hardest. I assumed my momma bear instincts would kick in as soon as he came out, but I found myself somewhat hands off asking Mike to do most of the work because I was so scared to break him and felt completely overwhelmed. I was also recovering from a 30 hour labor and was not aware of how sore and tired I would be. Tired is an understatement- I didn't know a zombie state like that existed. I honestly don't remember much of the first week- it's a blur of being in the hospital, trying to breastfeed, and keeping a tiny human alive for another day. The second week was even harder for me. Mike went back to work and my post partum hormones kicked in to high gear. I cried all day long. I cried during commercials, I cried because I didn't want him to grow up, I cried because he was so tiny, I cried because I was hungry, I cried because he was hungry… If someone sneezed I could have cried about it. It was an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs mixed in with a lack of sleep and I am so thankful that week is over and we all survived. Once we hit week three everything changed. I suddenly felt like Harrison and I understood each and other and each day made sense. I've loved him since the moment I met him, but each day I fall a little harder for him.
Likes:
Play Mat- Harrison LOVES his play mat. I started using this with him around week 3 for tummy time and quickly discovered that he is mesmerized by it. He loves to stare at himself in the mirror, look at the bright colors, and kick his feet and hands around. He does well with tummy time in it too, but he prefers to just hang out in there on his back for awhile.
Soothie Pacifier- H loves this paci along with his
wubanub. It helps him self-soothe, fight boredom, and fall asleep.
Footie Jammies- Harrison lives in footie jammies by Carters. I find that they keep him warm and are the easiest to dress him and change him. Also, he looks freaking adorable in them.
Disney Pandora- He loves listening to this while he's in his play mat. If he doesn't like it, then at least it's keeping me entertained.
Swing- This is the best way to keep our little man asleep. He loves having the
rocker on during nap and bedtime. But, he does not like to stay in it for long once he's awake.
Snuggling- This baby LOVES to snuggle. He would be happiest if he never left our arms, but sometimes mama needs to shower.
Napping in the Car- Works every time.
Fans & Lights- He is always staring at lights and fans when they are on.
Dislikes:
Harrison does not like diaper changes, being cold, being put in his rocker while he's awake, or waiting too long to be fed. He is also fussy when he has gas, but these
drops are a life saver for all of us. He's a pretty easy going baby and is happy most of the time so I can't complain.
Schedule:
Ha. We have no schedule. Our schedule is whatever Harrison wants. He tends to eat every 2-3 hours during the day, but some days it seems that he is eating every hour. At night though, we do tend to have a schedule of waking, changing, and eating every 4 hours, which is pretty doable. He usually eats at 11:00 pm, 3:00 am, and 6:30-7 am. We have only had a couple of rough nights during growth spurts. Harrison usually falls asleep after eating, so we are following an eat-sleep-play regiment during the day. Or again, whatever Harrison wants.
Features:
Harrison has Daddy's body type- long and skinny- he did not get that from me. His chicken legs are scrumptious, but now that he's putting on a few pounds I am starting to see some mini-rolls develop. His hair is starting to thicken and is light brown color, which has hints of red in the sun. His eyes started as a dark midnight blue and have started to lighten up. He also has dimples that I'm obsessed with. Basically, he's perfect and amazing and I love him.
Milestones:
I feel like we reach a new milestone each day, but here are the ones that stick out to me:
Harrison can…
-Suck his thumb
-Track objects with his eyes, like his mobile or our faces
-Grasp my finger, which he does while eating and my heart just melts
-Respond to loud noises except for the dogs barking (yay!)
-Lift his head when we are holding him upright or doing tummy time
Firsts:
H experienced his first…
-Bath
-Walk
-Shopping Trip
-Restaurant
-Car Ride
-Holiday (Valentine's Day)
-Everything… there are so many firsts this month!
Challenges:
Our biggest challenge this month was breastfeeding and weight gain. When we came home from the hospital, Harrison stopped latching on. We tried all day and night, which led to a 3:00 am melt down for both of us- he was screaming, I was bawling, and there was nothing Mike could do to help. Finally, after many tears and feeling like a failure we gave him a bottle of formula. I spent the next few days feeling like an awful mom and comparing myself to everyone else while I pumped to help my milk come in and we fed him a mixture of formula and colostrum. I gave up on breastfeeding for a few days because it just led to frustration and tears and was not working for anyone in this house. After talking to the pediatrician and other moms, I realized that breastfeeding is HARD and everyone has had challenges. Once I realized that I wasn't alone in this we gave it another go and by day 9 we were back on the boob! Since then we have been breastfeeding, pumping, and supplementing with formula due to lack of weight gain in the first couple of weeks. I actually like that he has all of these options because I know we aren't going to have problems with nipple confusion, not taking formula, or have issues with other people feeding him. I wish I had known that breastfeeding is not as natural and easy as it seems my hope is that by being open about it others won't have the same feelings of failure that I did. The important thing is that my baby is being fed and is healthy in whatever form he needs.
Thoughts:
Being a mom is the most incredible thing in the whole wide world. I've only being doing it for a month now, but I already know that this indescribable feeling is worth every late night, every tear shed, and every tough moment. Even when my hair is covered in vomit I can't help but smile at him, and then promptly take a shower. The most important thing I have learned so far is to do what is best for you and your baby and to not compare yourself to anyone else. Once I realized this and took it to heart, everything else fell in to place.
